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It’s not wholly natural, this business of making our own tribes. And it hardly seems conducive to human thriving. The percentage of Americans who say they don’t have a single close friend has quadrupled since 1990, according to the Survey Center on American Life.
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By this time, readers can feel the pull of Chinaski’s vision. It is not a dream of upward mobility based on freedom and opportunity, even less a belief in hard work and its rewards. To the contrary, the track represents the possibility of wealth without labor or “soups.” At the same time, it is not a place of leisure or social exchange. While Chinaski recognizes many regulars there, and his accounts suggest a certain bonhomie, his vision is not a social one. He is there to make money, and others are there to lose theirs. For him, success at the track is salutary as well as solitary.
Romantic relationships, marriage, family—that’s where the real grant money is. They’re a wormy mess of ties that bind, whether by blood, sex, or law, which makes them hotter topics in every sense—more seductive, more fraught. Your parents, if you’re lucky enough to still have them, have lives so different from your own that you’re looking horizontally, to your own cohort, for cues.
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- The enchantment ends abruptly when a new girlfriend and her male companion try to rob him in a motel room.
- Last spring, an old friend of my friend David died by suicide.
- The Beach Party movie franchise, which also featured teenage frolicking, began its run in 1963; in 1965 alone, a dozen such films appeared before the genre virtually collapsed in 1968.
- And you’re dreading the days when an older generation will no longer be there for you—when you’ll have to rely on another ecosystem altogether for support.
- Talking with her was like playing strip poker with someone in a down parka.
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It is amazing how the death of someone you love exposes this lie you tell yourself, that there’ll always be time. You can go months or even years without speaking to a dear old friend and feel fine about it, blundering along, living your life. But discover that this same friend is dead, and it’s devastating, even though your day-to-day life hasn’t changed one iota.
“Danny and I don’t talk about these things” was all he said, according to Lewis. Friendship is the rare kind of relationship that remains forever available to us as we age. It’s a bulwark against stasis, a potential source of creativity and renewal in lives that otherwise narrow with time.